


The Prank

by Eclipse_Wolven



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25045075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eclipse_Wolven/pseuds/Eclipse_Wolven
Summary: Jack Darby didn't realize that meeting new Autobots could be quite so...hazardous. His mom was going to KILL him.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 91





	1. The Prank

**Author's Note:**

> These are just a few fun little one shots I thought up after watching TFP a few years back. I actually haven't seen a whole ton of the original Transformers series from the 80s so apologies if anyone is OOC. I tried to keep them in character from what I've seen other people portray them as. Hopefully I did okay. Thanks and enjoy!

Jack closed his book quickly as the final bell rang, its chime signaling the end of another school day and a mad dash to the exit by the entire class populous. Pushing his chair in as he stood, he watched as they shoved each other roughly out of the way, each wanting to be the first to escape the interminable boredom of Trigonometry and begin another summer day of fun. Jack himself was looking forward to the break, for as much as he loved school, there were far more exciting things waiting for him once he left the premises…exciting things that stood dozens of feet tall and came from another world. 

Glancing over to his left, he saw Raf slip his laptop into his backpack and hoist it over his thin shoulders, pushing his glasses further up his nose as he did so. Catching his friend staring, the young hacker smiled over at him. 

“You coming to the base today, Jack?” he asked, not bothering to lower his voice since everyone had already left the room. “Ratchet says something big is happening.”

“Yeah, definitely.” Came the answer as Jack slid his arms through his backpack straps. “It’s gonna have to be a little later though. I promised I’d help Mom with the food shopping.”

Raf nodded, seeming to understand his feelings on that but knowing that Jack was not one to shirk responsibility. The older teen looked around and glanced out into the hallway. 

“Where’s Miko anyway?” he asked. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

“Detention.” Came Raf’s shrugged answer. “Again.”

Jack sighed, startled to hear how much like Optimus the noise had made him sound. 

“She’s gonna have to start getting serious now that finals are coming up.” He said. “Getting left behind’s not gonna go over too well with the Bots.”

“I know.” Raf agreed. “Bulkhead would be happy to help her with the homework though.”

“He’d just Google it.” Jack chuckled. “He’d rather be out watching a monster truck rally too.”

Then he shook his head, pushing a chair out of his way as he and Raf walked to the classroom door and headed out into the hallway. 

“I don’t know who’s a worse influence,” Jack said. “Wheeljack on Miko or the other way around.”

Raf fixed his glasses again, smiling at the remark.

“They’re not **that** bad, Jack.” He said. “They just like the same types of fun.”

He turned to face the older boy as they strode out into the sunlight and stopped on the school’s front steps.

“Me and Bee are the same way.” Raf continued. “We like going for drives and video games. Wheeljack, Miko and Bulkhead just…are different.”

He didn’t seem satisfied with his own explanation and frowned slightly at the sidewalk as he tried to think of a better way to put it. Jack smiled though and nodded.

“You’re right.” He said. “After all, Arcee and I like to do our own thing too.”

Then he glanced at his watch.

“Speaking of which, where is she anyway?” he wondered, looking around. “Bee’s not here either.”

“Maybe they’re prepping for that thing Ratchet was talking about.” Raf suggested and Jack glanced at him.

“Yeah, about that,” he said. “Did Ratch say what the big surprise was? Don’t tell him I called him ‘Ratch’ by the way.”

“No, he was pretty busy when I asked so he didn’t answer.” Raf said. “He might not have heard me.”

“Oh, he heard you.” Jack deadpanned teasingly. “Ratchet’s audio sensors could hear a pin drop on the moon. He probably just was too busy to answer.”

Raf chuckled at the joke. 

“He **did** seem kind of in a bad mood about the whole thing.” The young hacker said. “Kept muttering something like ‘Obnoxious, good for nothing slaggers’ and something else I couldn’t quite hear. Optimus seemed to find it funny.”

“Optimus has a sense of humor?” Jack smirked and Raf laughed again. 

“Apparently.” He agreed. “Everyone else seems pretty thrilled about whatever the big surprise is. Ratchet’s the only one who’s not.”

Then he paused.

“Well,” he amended with a shrug. “Arcee seems a little tense too but…”

“…but that’s her constant state?” Jack finished. “It’s okay. I know. I’ll try and get her to loosen up a little when I get to base, maybe rope in Bee and Smokescreen to help.”

Checking at his watch again, Jack looked around for any sign of his guardian in the parking lot. Nothing. Just old Ford Focuses and mid-90s lemons that somehow were still hanging onto life. 

‘Welcome to Jasper, Nevada.’ He thought sarcastically.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly saw a bunch of other students congregating around the far parking lot, a group of them milling around something he couldn’t quite see and pointing at it excitedly. Standing up, he caught Sierra by the arm as she was passing by. 

“Hey, Sierra,” he said, trying to ignore the flutter his heart gave when she met his gaze and smiled. “What’s going on?”

“None of your business, Darby.” Vince suddenly cut off her answer as he passed by behind her. “You’ve got that stupid motorcycle. This one is gonna be all mine!”

Trying to ignore his Neanderthal classmate, Jack looked back at Sierra, who was busy getting pulled away by a friend.

“Jack, there’s a really hot car over in the senior’s lot and – ” she started and then was mobbed by a group of her friends and pulled in the direction of the throng, making Jack glance at Raf and exchange a shrug with him. 

‘Might as well see what this is about.’ Jack thought and stood up, leaving his backpack on the steps as Raf pulled out his computer and started playing a game where he sat, clearly not interested enough to make the hike across the large school parking lot. 

Still not seeing Arcee anywhere, Jack began walking across the mostly empty teacher’s parking lot, stretching his neck lazily with a pop as he did. Then, however, Fate decided that Jack Darby needed to be taught a lesson. Why he never knew, but the series of events that followed happened all the same and would become a Jasper, Nevada legend for years afterward. From right behind him, a loud, aggressive engine rev erupted with a silence-shattering roar and Jack jumped with a startled yelp of surprise. Before he could turn to see what had caused it though, something knocked his legs out from under him and the teenager found himself perched on the hood of a low-riding sports car, a gold-painted monster that picked up speed as it suddenly flew across the parking lot, aiming at the congregating group of students at the far end. 

Yelling in terror as he hung on for dear life, Jack saw the crowd turn in clusters to look over at him in confusion, clearly wondering what was going on, before another engine roar sounded abruptly and they scattered like ants, scampering off to either side quickly as another car suddenly emerged from their epicenter, launching forward at great speed and aiming directly at where Jack and his attacker were also going. 

“Dude, it has no driver!” he heard someone yell. “Ghost car!”

That made Jack freeze up where he sat. There was only one thing those 2 words could mean. Before he could voice his fear aloud though, the car coming at him suddenly skidded in a 90 degree turn and popped its passenger door open, seeming to aim the opening right at where Jack himself was being chauffeured. He found out why seconds later. 

“Arms and legs tucked in, squishy!” a smug voice sounded from right beneath him. “Scratch my paint and you die.”

Then his ride suddenly came to its own screeching halt, sending the unfortunate Jack flying forward headfirst like a missile, a scream of terror tearing itself from his throat as he flew at his own death in the form of a red Lamborghini Aventador. Somehow though, by some miracle, he managed to do as the strange Cybertronian told him to and flew precisely through the small opening, smashing into the driver’s seat and door as the red Lamborghini immediately floored it and sped out of the parking lot. Floundering as he tried to right himself in the seat, Jack managed to catch only glimpses of his fellow students staring after him in awe as the school disappeared quickly behind him, his brain struggling to catch up with what had just happened.

“Gooooooooood afternoon, Jack!” came a mirth-filled voice from the radio suddenly, its tone almost as smug as the other one’s had been. “I can call you ‘Jack’ right? Whatever, you can’t stop me anyway. So, we’ve heard a lot about you and your first question is: Who’s better looking? Me or my brother here?”

At that, the yellow car that had hit him from behind pulled up alongside them, matching their speed and course with practiced ease. Other than color, it seemed identical in every way to the one he was in, and Jack found himself looking for the Decepticon crest on its sleek form as they sped down the road. How fast were they going anyway? 

“Wh-Who the hell are **you**?” Jack sputtered, letting out a grunt and gasp simultaneously as a seatbelt came out of nowhere and pinned him firmly against the seat. “Did Megatron put you up to this?!”

The red car laughed audibly.

“You hear that, Sunny?” it said. “He thinks we’re Cons!”

“That’s adorable.” The golden one deadpanned. “Remind me to smite his squishy aft when we all get out of jail.”

Jack sucked in a breath.

“ **Jail**?!” he demanded. “What do you mean jail? What’s going on?!”

“I heard you liked racing, kid. That right?” the red one said, not giving him a chance to get a word in edgewise. “Course that’s right. Why wouldn’t you? And we’re a slag of a lot faster than Arcee, I’ll tell you that much.”

And with that, he floored the accelerator and Jack was flattened further back against the seat. Reaching up to grab the steering wheel tight enough to whiten his knuckles, the teen felt his eyes widen as he saw 185 mph read on the speedometer, the number doing nothing to soothe his already frayed nerves.

“Are you crazy?!” he yelled. “Slow down! We’re gonna kill somebody!”

“Nah!” the car chuckled non-chalantly. “We got this. You and me, squishy. Besides, if they get in my way then they brought it on themselves. And oh look! We’ve got our first contenders!”

For a second, Jack didn’t know what the car was talking about, but then he heard sirens behind him and felt his stomach drop down to his feet. 

“No.” he said fearfully. “No no no no no **no**! Son of a – Why would you – **Darn** it all!”

“Ah c’mon, Jack.” The unknown Autobot said cheerfully. “You can curse in front of me. I’m not shy. Here, I’ll do it with you! **SLAG**!”

“Stop!”

“Stick it up your tailpipe you aft-faced son of a glitch! See? It’s fun!”

“You’re gonna get me arrested!”

“Go frag yourself in an acid bath you pit-spawned humper droid!” came the reply.

“God damn it! Listen to me!”

* * *

Miko yawned as Bulkhead pulled into the Autobot base, stepping out of the green Wrecker’s passenger door as soon as he came to a halt. 

“I’m telling you, Bulk.” She complained as the Autobot transformed behind her. “They just have no taste in music. I try and enrich their lives with Slash Monkey’s greatest hits and what do I get? Detention. Again.”

She sighed.

“Some people are just no fun. …Maybe I should’ve gone with the Napoleon Blown-Aparts instead.”

“Miko, you’ve gotta start taking this seriously.” Bulkhead scolded lightly. “You’re finals are coming up!”

The girl waved a dismissive hand at him. 

“What are you, my mom?” she asked irritatedly. “I’ll pass ‘em no problem! I’m good at tests! And if I can’t well…Raf’ll do ‘em for me.”

Bulkhead sighed.

“Miko…” he started, then saw who Optimus was talking to over by Ratchet. “Prowl?!”

The Autobot 2nd-in-command turned upon hearing his name. 

“Hello, Bulkhead.” He said in his even voice. “It’s good to see you again.”

“When did you get here?” the Wrecker asked with a laugh, smiling broadly as he trotted up to his 2 commanders. “I thought you were still 2 days out!”

“We cut some time off our approach with a change in strategy.”

Suddenly, Miko broke out of her stupor and ran forward.

“No way!” she said excitedly, talking at 200 miles per hour. “New bots?! Are you a cop car? You look like a cop car! What weapons do you have? I bet they’re **really** strong! Can you show ‘em to me? Don’t worry, I can handle the explosions!”

Prowl turned to Optimus and raised an optic ridge, making the Prime chuckle and gesture to the girl.

“Commander.” He said. “Meet Miko, one of our human allies and Bulkhead’s partner.”

“Is she always so…animated?” came the wary reply and Optimus’s smile widened knowingly.

“I’m afraid so, old friend.” He said. “But you’ll find that she’s a valuable ally nonetheless…and a good friend.”

“Who else was with you?” Bulkhead asked, making Prowl’s helm turn towards him.

Before the dark-armored Autobot could reply, a beeping sounded from the base’s main control panel. Reaching over from where he stood by the groundbridge, Ratchet hit it before anyone else there could do so, knowing immediately who it was.

“What is it, Bumblebee?” came his gruff reply to the hail. “I’m currently engaged in important research into possible synthetic Energon enhancers.”

 _::Uh, Ratchet,::_ came the scout’s clicks and beeps, his tone sounding uneasy. _::I’d turn the news on if I were you.::_

This made the Autobot medic straighten up in confusion and Optimus quickly strode over next to him, Prowl doing the same.

“What is the situation, Bumblebee?” Optimus asked in a pure leader’s voice. “Why should we observe the news stations?”

_::You’ll know it when you see it.::_

“I thought you were picking Raf up from school.” Ratchet said. “What trouble could you possibly have gotten into there?”

 _:: **I** didn’t do anything.:: _Bumblebee protested with a huff. _::And I **did** pick up Raf from school. He’s with me now. Poor Jack, on the other hand, seems to have met our newest additions to Team Prime a bit prematurely.::_

“Oh Primus…” Ratchet said, his optics widening where he stood. “What did those slaggers do?”

Prowl, meanwhile, clenched his fist tightly with a scraping of metal on metal. 

“They swore.” He said furiously. “They **swore** they wouldn’t.”

Optimus simply let out a long-suffering sigh and addressed the young scout. 

“What channel should we turn on?” he asked.

_::It doesn’t matter.::_

Able to pick up parts of the conversation and not knowing what was going on, Miko ran to the television where Raf and Bumblebee regularly played video games and switched it on quickly, turning to the first news station that came up in the feed. She then nearly dropped the remote in shock. 

‘LIVE: CAR CHASE IN PROGRESS’ read the headline at the bottom of the screen and behind it, shot from the point of view of a helicopter overlooking the scene, was a clear video of two fleeing sports cars. One was red, she saw, and the other gold. Both were gorgeous looking and stood out easily on the screen as they weaved in and out of slower traffic. Behind them, their lights and sirens blaring like a swarm of angry hornets…were about a dozen police cars. Turning up the volume, she and the others listened in to the news announcer’s narration with growing dread. 

“All right,” the man’s voice said. “If you’re just tuning in, our aerial unit is covering a bizarre car chase in rural Jasper, Nevada. Currently fleeing authorities are two Lamborghini sports cars, one driven by what appears to be a teenager.”

The camera zoomed in and Jack’s simultaneously terrified and furious face came into view, his mouth moving silently as he spoke to someone in the car. 

“Scrap.” Multiple voices said at once around the room and Miko held her arms out, turning to Bulkhead.

“How come we never have fun like that when we drive?” she asked and the Wrecker gave her an insulted frown.

“What makes this particular chase so strange,” the announcer continued, “Is that the second car, the gold one, appears to be driving itself. There is no one visible in the driver’s seat or anywhere else in the car that we can see and yet it is clearly operating as if it were being driven. In fact, from up here they seem to be working together. We will keep you updated on this situation as it unfolds.”

Optimus and Prowl turned to each other and locked gazes firmly as the volume was muted on the TV. 

“Forever.” Prowl said in a deceptively calm voice. “That is how long they will spend in the brig for this, Optimus. I give you my word.”

“Unfortunately, we do not currently have a functioning brig.” The Prime replied and it was clear that he was also angry. “A fact that the Twins have clearly taken advantage of. However, now that Sunstreaker and Sideswipe have arrived on Earth I believe it would be prudent to construct one.”

“I shall get started right away.” Prowl said and walked away, heading towards the vaults where they kept any Cybertronian relics found on Earth, gesturing at Bulkhead to come and help him as he did.

“Stay here.” The Wrecker said to Miko sternly and followed his commander, leaving the girl to give a pouting face and cross her arms in irritation as Optimus turned to Ratchet.

“Ratchet,” he said. “Call Arcee back from the children’s school and then contact Agent Fowler. I have a feeling we may need his assistance very soon.”

* * *

“Holy slag, they’re like Scraplets!” Jack’s car kidnapper sounded amused as he looked at the increasing number of flashing lights behind them. “There’s a million of ‘em!”

“I’m dead.” Jack moaned. “I’m so, **so** dead.”

“You sure we can’t just squash ‘em?” the golden car’s voice huffed vainly over the radio. “I’m getting sand all over my finish!”

“The Prime’ll throw a hissy fit.” The red one replied, his voice sounding almost disappointed. “Ah frag it! That rock just dented my bumper!”

“Why couldn’t this dirtball be made of steel?” the golden one commiserated. “I **hate** organic planets!”

“Suck it up, Sunny.” red said. “At least this one has some potential.”

“ **Don’t** call me ‘Sunny’!”

“I’ll never drive again.” Jack groused into his hands, which were currently covering his face. “I’ll be the youngest person in prison and **then** my mom will kill me.”

“Well, we shouldn’t keep her waiting then should we?” the red car’s voice teased cheerfully and he began to slow down. “I think we’ve won this race ‘fair and square’ as you humans say. Time to go listen to these fleshies whine.”

“No!” Jack cried. “Floor it! Get back to base! You can outrun them easy! We can’t be caught after all this!”

“Sorry, Jack, but we must take responsibility for our actions.” Came the mocking tone. “Think about what Optimus would say. See you back at base, Sunny!”

Jack almost didn’t notice that the golden car had sped off and was no longer with them, but listened in long enough to hear the reply of:

“I’ll meet you in the brig! And **don’t** slagging call me ‘Sunny’!”

Then he vanished into the distance and as Jack’s vehicular abductor slowed to a complete stop at the side of the road, another voice shouted from behind them, this one sounding equally as angry. 

“Driver, get out of the car and put your hands on your head!”

Jack glared down at the radio, not knowing where to direct his furious frown at as he let his hands slip off the steering wheel and flop into his lap disgustedly.

“I hate you.” He deadpanned. “I don’t even know your name, and I hate you already.”

“Call me Sideswipe.” The Autobot said brightly, laugher evident in his voice. “And I think we’re gonna get along juuuuuuust fine.”

“Driver, get out of the car!”

“My mom’s gonna kill me.” Jack lamented again. 

“Welcome to the Autobots, kid.” The red menace chuckled, a self-satisfied smirk evident in his voice. 

Then there was a figure standing by the window and Jack looked up to see a gun in his face. 

“Get outta that damn car right now!” the police officer yelled, his voice angry and hoarse from overuse.

“I’m so sorry, Officer!” Jack tried pleading, knowing he was well and truly screwed. “I – I just…uh…the throttle stuck!”

The next thing Jack knew, he had been pulled forcefully from the driver’s seat and was being slammed face first into the ground, 3 burly men jumping on his back to immobilize him as his arms were yanked backwards and handcuffs were slapped on his wrists tighter than was needed. As he was pulled back to his feet and half dragged over to a waiting police cruiser, Jack could’ve sworn he heard Sideswipe snickering softly, his whole gorgeous form trembling with suppressed laughter at the young human’s expense. Jack sighed. Yup, he decided, Fate absolutely hated him.

* * *

The afternoon sun blazed brightly overhead as Jackson Darby emerged from the Nevada Highway Patrol’s headquarters in Carson City, its light level bright enough to force him to shield his eyes with his hand as he looked around for his ride. After arriving there the previous day, over 200 miles away from where he had started in front of Jasper High, he had been screamed at for a good hour and a half by the officer in charge and finally dumped in a holding cell with a couple of drunks and a street racer, the latter bombarding him with excited questions after having seen the chase on TV. He had hoped at first that the Jasper Police Department could be reasoned with, seeing as he had grown up there his whole life and was known for being a genuinely good kid, but because the chase had gone as far as it had, he had been turned over to the NHP and that had been that. At least until Agent Fowler had shown up that morning to finally bail him out. As he took his hand down from his face and let his eyes adjust to the brightness, he saw the agent leaning against a nearby police cruiser, a sympathetic look on his face that seemed to be warring with an amused smirk.

“Glad to see you’re still in one piece, son.” He said, clapping a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Sorry for the wait. The NHP didn’t particularly like the explanation we gave them. Did everything they could to slow us down.”

“That’s fine.” Jack said, not sure how to feel about the whole thing. “At least I’ll have a story to tell my kids one day. What did you tell them?”

“That your two ‘rides’ were a top secret government project that had had some technical problems.” Fowler smiled, seemingly pleased with himself. “Remotely driven cars that had computer malfunctions and ran amok.”

Jack nearly gaped at him.

“They **bought** that?” he asked and Fowler nodded, glancing at him as they walked into the parking lot.

“Yup.” He replied. “Told them you were a technical analyst that was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Which isn’t too far from the truth.”

“Tell me about it.”

“They didn’t wanna play ball at first but I told them that if they didn’t like it they could kiss my star-spangled shorts.” The agent finished. “That finally shut them up and here you are.”

“We taking your helicopter back?” Jack asked.

“I am.” Fowler said. “As for you, there’s someone who wanted to drive you so you two could talk.”

Shoving down the pang of dread in his stomach, Jack looked to where the older man had gestured and saw a blue and red colored big rig idling in a parking space nearby, its detailing looking newly polished and slick. Heaving a sigh of relief, he headed towards it and waved goodbye to Fowler, who walked towards a black SUV parked a few spaces down instead. As Jack reached the passenger door of his own escort, it swung open at his touch and he hoisted himself up into the interior, settling down into the comfortable seats as soon as he had. 

“Hello Jack.” Optimus’s warm baritone emerged from the radio. “I’m glad you are all right.”

“Thanks for coming to get me, Optimus.” Jack said gratefully, then added after a pause. “Though I do have a few questions if that’s okay. I’m still kinda confused about all this.”

“I would imagine so.” The Prime replied. “But before you ask them I would like to deeply apologize for the actions of my subordinates. Rest assured that they are being appropriately punished for it.”

“And that’s question one.” Jack said, grateful for the Autobot leader’s apology. “Who exactly **are** Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum and when can I give them a piece of my mind? You don’t even want to **know** how many points I have on my driver’s license now.”

“Agent Fowler has gotten those erased from your record.” Optimus replied, pulling out of the parking lot onto the road and sounding almost embarrassed. “As for your question, their names are Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. They’re two of my most talented frontliners and a welcome addition to our team here on Earth. Unfortunately, as you saw firsthand, they also are rather infamous for playing pranks on others.”

“A **prank**?!” Jack sputtered furiously, feeling bad for taking it out on Optimus. “That was supposed to be a **prank**? They could’ve killed someone! Me included!”

“You have every right to be angry, Jack.” Optimus said patiently. “I said as much to them both before coming to get you. I am quite sure Arcee and Ratchet both said much more. The Twins have played countless pranks in the past on fellow Autobots and it has become almost a ritual for those of us who have lived with them so long. I must confess that I didn’t expect them to target you with their latest mayhem.”

“They’re brothers?” Jack blinked in surprise. “Huh. I didn’t know Cybertronians could have brothers. What’s a frontliner, by the way, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Of course not, Jack.” The Prime said warmly. “You can ask me anything you like. You, Miko and Rafael are part of our family now. And yes, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are twin brothers. It was not common on Cybertron but it **did** happen. They are both frontliners, which is a class of warrior mech that fights primarily on the frontlines of battle. The Twins are two of the best and fiercest fighters Cybertron ever produced.”

“Wow…” Jack said, taking it all in as they pulled onto the highway and started the long drive south back to Jasper. “Did anyone else arrive with them?”

“My second-in-command, Prowl, accompanied them.” Optimus replied. “He is a very logical and strategic mind and was less than pleased with their conduct. That, of course, only made the Twins happier. They love to torment him.”

Jack caught the undercurrent of affection in Optimus’s voice as he spoke and was reminded of a father describing his rowdy sons. 

“A second group also arrived last night while you were…indisposed.” The Autobot leader continued. “This one consisted of Bluestreak – one of our best snipers, Silverbolt – a flyer under my command, and Jazz – one of my other top commanders and the best spy in our ranks.”

“Wow,” Jack said again. “Family’s getting pretty big, isn’t it?”

“It is indeed.” Optimus agreed fondly. “They’re all unique in their own way and they all would like to meet you. I’m afraid that your little escapade with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker is already the main source of gossip around the base. It very likely will become an infamous story amongst our extended ranks.”

Jack snorted, yawning widely.

“Great.” He deadpanned tiredly.

Optimus paused for a moment at that. 

“You sound tired, Jack.” He said kindly. “Why don’t you sleep and I’ll wake you when we arrive? Your mother will be there to greet us with the others.”

The teen didn’t need to be told twice.

“Thanks, Optimus.” He said, closing his eyes as the seat reclined itself to accommodate him. “Sorry if I smell, by the way. There’s no showers in that jail.”

“It’s quite all right, Jackson. Go and recharge.”

“Thank you.” Jack murmured. 

Then he closed his eyes and was dead to the world.

* * *

It was nearly 3 hours later that they arrived at the Autobot base and though it wasn’t much, Jack was grateful for the small amount of sleep he had gotten in Optimus’s cab, where he felt much safer than he had the previous night in lockup. He had been awakened by a small jostling in the seat beneath him, sort of a gentle prod by the large Cybertronian he assumed, and sat up quickly as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes. As soon as they entered the hidden door that led inside the base, Jack saw a mob of bots and people loitering around in the main room, most of them talking amongst themselves in small groups. They seemed to be enjoying each other’s company, he saw, and decided not to interrupt as Optimus came to a halt and he jumped down from out of the cab. Almost instantly, he was swept up in a crushing hug. 

“Mom!” he said in surprise as she held him tightly, only gasping in a breath when she released him moments later. 

“Jackson Darby, you will drive everywhere with an escort from now on.” She said sternly and his mouth dropped open in a silent ‘O’ at the unfairness of it all. 

“But Mom,” he started. “I didn’t – ”

“Also, you’re grounded ‘til your 40.”

“I didn’t do anything!” he protested. “They kidnapped me!”

“We’ll talk about this later.” She said and whirled on the spot, heading back over to where Agent Fowler was talking to a newly transformed Optimus. 

He stared slack jawed after her, only breaking the expression when the others finally came up to join him. Turning to them, the first one he saw was Arcee.

“Hey partner.” The two-wheeled femme said with a teasing smile. “You know, when I said watching those _Fast and the Furious_ movies was a bad idea, I meant for Bumblebee, not you.”

“Ha ha.”

“You okay?”

“I am now.” He said, smiling up at her. “…You’re not as angry as I thought you’d be.”

“Oh, you shoulda seen her before!” Bulkhead said, letting out a laugh. “Sides is gonna be nursing that dent in his helm for a full vorn!”

From her position on the Wrecker’s shoulder, Miko waved down at her fellow teen.

“Yeah!” she agreed enthusiastically. “It was like robot pro wrestling! Too bad you missed it, Speed Racer.”

Jack grimaced.

“Do I even want to **know** how much of that whole debacle you all saw?” he asked and Raf walked up with Bumblebee.

“Oh, we saw most of it.” He said almost sheepishly. “You guys made the news. I gave your mom your backpack by the way. You dropped it at school.”

“We were on the **news**?!”

“Yeah, the whole school’s talking about it too!” Miko grinned. “Jack Darby gets abducted by demon sports cars and leads the police on a high speed chase across Nevada. You’re a superstar, Jacko!”

Jack heaved a sigh.

“Hooray for me.” He said sarcastically.

Then there were two new bots standing before him and one by one they crouched down to get a better look. 

“Hey man!” the first, smaller one said in a lazy drawl. “Ya must be Jack. Heard a lot about ya! Ah’m Jazz. Sorry ya got ‘Twinned’ right off tha bat!”

Jack smiled and waved a dismissal, liking the newcomer immediately. 

“That’s okay.” He said. “I guess I’ve been through worse. Though I may have to take liberties with the whole ‘giant robots’ thing when I tell this story in the future.”

“We were watching it this morning on the news!” the second one, a tall, blue and silver Autobot, said at a thousand miles an hour. “That must have been quite some chase! It looked like a race back on Cybertron! I love racing! Used to do it all the time, though now I can’t so much because Cybertron is dead and the war is happening and we all need to fight and – ”

“Blue!” Jazz barked, his voice still coming across somehow as laid back. “Take a breath, man! He just got back.”

The other mech looked sheepish.

“Oh sorry!” he said. “I sometimes get carried away when I talk. It’s nothing personal, just a nervous tick I guess. I forgot you must be really tired after that. I know how Sunny and Sides can be. They’re some of my best friends after all. But boy that was some chase! I hope things are always that exciting around here! After all, where would we be if everything was boring all the time and – ”

Jack tuned him out after that, exchanging a bemused glance with Arcee as the femme leaned against the grinning Jazz and Bumblebee gave the teen a covert thumbs up, his expression clearly one of mirth despite his less than expressive face. Shaking his head, Jack walked past his friends and over to where Optimus had just finished his discussion with Agent Fowler, a third new Autobot at his side. 

“Optimus?” he called, and both Cybertronians turned to look down at him. 

“Yes Jack?”

“Where did you guys put the Twins?” he asked, already feeling unsure about what he was planning. “I…wanted to talk to them.”

The Prime seemed to smile knowingly at that but it was the other bot who answered instead. 

“We built a brig in Storage Area 5.” he said in an almost perfectly even voice. “They’re both currently in there serving out their punishment.”

Then he inclined his helm at Jack.

“Prowl.” He said. “Autobot 2nd-in-command.”

Jack nodded back at him, his hand shooting up to give a respectful salute as he did. The Autobot seemed to appreciate the gesture and allowed his metal face to twist into a very slight smile, deferring back to Optimus as soon as he had. 

“Are you sure you wish to speak with them so soon after what happened, Jack?” he asked concernedly and the teen nodded in determination.

“The sooner I get to know them,” he said. “The sooner we can get around to putting this behind us.”

Optimus nodded in understanding.

“Very well.” He said. “Call us if you need anything.”

“I will.” Jack promised and walked away down the hall, not acknowledging Prowl as the newcomer called after him:

“Please do not allow the Twins to con you into lowering their cell forcefield. They have attempted to do so in the past.”

Jack snorted, not doubting this at all, and turned the corner quickly, thinking about everything he should and shouldn’t say to the two apparently notorious hooligans. After all, he didn’t have much experience with newcomers, and somehow doubted that it would work the same way for the Twins as it had for Smokescreen and Arcee. Finally, when he was outside the door to Storage Area 5, he stopped and took a breath, releasing it only when he had finally calmed his nerves enough to walk casually inside. Once through the threshold, he immediately saw the makeshift brig, a cordoned off area in the back corner of the room surrounded by 2 large forcefields and populated by nothing but two bored looking mechs, each playing with pieces of rubble from the floor or shooting each other annoyed glances. Jack leaned against a large crate, studying them carefully as he did. When he wasn’t busy fearing for his life, he knew how to handle these types – no matter the species.

“Don’t tell me you’re bored already.” He said and two helms turned towards him simultaneously. “This isn’t even the dullest room in the base.”

A smirk formed on the face of the left-most Autobot and Jack knew instantly that it was Sideswipe by his red armor. 

“Look who it is, Sunny.” He said mockingly. “Our partner in crime. Out already, huh? Prime’s going soft.”

“Mmm.” Jack replied, crossing his arms. “The police send their regards, by the way.”

Then he decided to irritate the red-plated Autobot.

“Though they seemed pretty convinced that Sunstreaker here was the prettier twin.” He said. “It must be the yellow.”

The mech in question held his arms out to the sides in a “come get me” gesture, the smug look on his faceplate so pronounced that Jack almost laughed.

“What do you know?” he preened. “There’s hope for humanity after all.”

“Yeah well, they’re humans.” Sideswipe retorted, tossing a pebble at the far forcefield. “With small processors comes no taste.”

Then he seemed to stretch himself lazily. 

“Primus it’s stuffy in here!” he complained. “Hey kid, could you go over to that control panel by the far wall and hit the red button? My intakes need some air flow in here or I’ll go crazy.”

“You mean that red button that’ll lower the forcefields and let you out?” Jack smiled, seeing through the ruse. “Nice try. Prowl already gave me the heads up to your con techniques…the **other** kind of ‘con’.”

Sideswipe vented in a snort.

“Spoil sport.” He said, then seemed to study Jack with his optics. “So you and Arcee, huh? **That** must’ve been a rough start.”

“You could say that.”

“That is one hard aft femme, squishy.” The red twin said. “She’ll bash your helm in if you so much as let your optics wander juuuuuuust a little. Though you seem to have gotten the technique down all right.”

“The technique?” Jack echoed, raising an eyebrow.

“C’mon.” Sideswipe smirked at him. “We both know it’s not her helm you’re staring at.”

The teen wrinkled his nose at the bot.

“She’s my **partner** ,” he said firmly. “Not my girlfriend.”

“Ah, c’mon.” the frontliner goaded, rolling back to a standing position. “Just between us mechs. How does it even work with you two? I mean, Primus, interfacing must be tough…you being a human and all.”

“Gah!” Sunstreaker seemed to shudder, breaking his silence. “Don’t say ‘interfacing’ and ‘human’ in the same sentence! I might purge my tanks!”

Jack shook his head, snorting as he did.

“Keep it up.” he said, letting the insult roll off him. “I was just thinking about eventually talking to Prowl and Optimus on your behalf but…keep it up. I might just forget.”

Sideswipe grinned.

“Extortion.” He drawled smoothly. “There’s hope for you yet, squishy.”

“Jack.” The teen smiled back. “Call me Jack, Sideswipe. I can call you Sideswipe, right?”

Then he turned and walked back to the hallway door.

“Whatever.” He said, glancing over his shoulder with a smirk as he reached the threshold. “You can’t stop me anyway.”

For a long moment, there was silence. Then big grins slowly spread over both Twins faces and they began to laugh, Sideswipe pointing at the human knowingly as he flopped back down on the cell floor and rested against the wall, his servos interlocked lazily behind his helm. 

“See you when we get out, Jack.” He said as Sunstreaker gave the human a mocking little salute. 

“I can hardly wait.” Jack replied, walking away down the hallway to rejoin his friends. “I can hardly wait.”


	2. Bonding Exercises

Jack yawned widely as Arcee sped into the Autobot base, dismounting and removing his helmet as soon as she had come to a full stop. It had been an exhausting day at work and his increased celebrity at school hadn’t helped matters, the now infamous sports car abduction incident still fresh in the minds of the student body. He wondered frequently how they hadn’t forgotten about it already over 2 months after the fact, but somehow it tended to come up every single day. Despite that though, he never missed a chance to visit the base and had all but been living there for the last few weeks. Raf and Miko had been keeping the same schedule as him so they could back each other up if the younger duo’s families started asking questions, and Jack had dedicated himself to learning more about his new second family, from their history down to their now dead society’s culture. 

The new arrivals had made the former missile silo a little more cramped then he and the others were used to, but after a period of adjustment they had all learned to live with it, especially since additions to the base were being added slowly down in the lower levels. In the short time they’d been on Earth, Jack had gotten to know all the newer Autobots well and had discovered at one point or another the subtle little quirks of their personalities…whether he wanted to or not. Bluestreak, for one, never stopped talking unless you interrupted him. Having been taught to be polite by his mother, Jack had let him ramble on the first 3 or 4 times they spoke, but after he learned that the sniper didn’t take interruptions personally and it was better for all involved if he was stopped before he went too far…well…their discussions became much shorter. Those were certainly hours of Jack’s life he was never getting back.

Conversely, Prowl was an absolute rock. He was so engrossed in planning and problem solving that he showed little to no emotion when addressed, and Raf had speculated that he kept his professional skills and emotions in completely separate parts of his processor…parts he only accessed one at a time. Never together. It was all rather confusing for Jack but he liked the bot anyway. A little stuffy? Sure. But he was a good soul nonetheless and certainly important to their cause. Jazz, meanwhile was just…and there was no other way to say it…cool. His almost obsessive love for music of all kinds had made it so times when the base was quiet were becoming few and far between, and he tended to hear everything that was going on around him whether it involved him or not. He had a very laid back feel to him and was just fun to be around, despite the fact that he could turn truly deadly in no time flat, something Jack and Miko had witnessed on the battlefield when the headstrong girl had snuck after the bots on one of their recent missions. Still, he was easily one of the teen’s favorites. 

Then there were the Twins. Just thinking about them gave Jack a headache. ‘The Terror Twins’, as Miko had dubbed them, were whirling dervishes of destruction on the battlefield and seemed to practically dance when fighting, swords flashing everywhere Jack looked and Energon flying through the air in copious amounts. They certainly lived up to Optimus’s description of them as two of the best warriors Cybertron ever produced. Unfortunately, they were also colossal pains in the ass. Sideswipe was actually a pretty nice guy deep down, Jack mused, but he tended to hide it behind a wall of sarcasm and dry wit, his pranks apparently the stuff of legend amongst the Autobot forces. Jack snorted. He knew that all too well. 

Sunstreaker was moodier and apparently had been a well-known artist in a former life back on Cybertron, a profession that seemed to have developed his arrogance as well as his skill. He too was a mostly decent bot, but frequently looked down on humanity in one way or another and was by far the most stuck up person Jack had ever known. The other bots tended to give him a wide berth when he was in a bad mood, and Jack had seen quite a number of nasty dents on some of the others when they ignored this unspoken rule. He himself got along well enough with them, he supposed, and aside from some friendly insult sniping back and forth they mostly just exchanged ‘hellos’ whenever they met. Still, they were certainly unpredictable and every time he came into the base and they were there, Jack felt like it was a new adventure all its own.

Looking around as he shook his hair out of his eyes, Jack’s gaze rested on the familiar sight of Ratchet’s back, the Autobot medic seemingly engrossed in scanning one of his devices. 

“Hey Ratchet!” he greeted. “How are you?”

“Hmph.” Came the grunted reply and Jack paused only a moment, frowning slightly at the annoyed tone it was delivered in. 

“You okay Ratch?”

The CMO lowered the device to his lap and rubbed his fingers over his eyes in an astonishingly human gesture of exasperation.

“Yes, yes.” He said gruffly. “I am fine, Jack. I just need to calibrate this Energon sensor correctly, which requires delicacy, and between you children and the others I’m never going to get it done!”

Yup, Jack decided. Ratchet was in one of his moods. Joy.

“I can tell Miko and Raf to keep it down a little if you want.” He offered, glancing up at the platform where the two teenagers were playing a video game of some kind with Bumblebee.

“That would be appreciated.”

“You need anything else?”

“There’s a field damper in Agent Fowler’s storage closet down the hallway on your left.” Came the reply. “Please bring that to me. Arcee, Optimus needs to speak with you and Bluestreak.”

“You got it.” Jack replied as his partner turned and went to go talk with the Autobot commander, his imposing but regal form standing over by the main screens. 

As Jack himself walked by the raised platform he, Miko and Raf tended to frequent, he was joined by Sideswipe, the red armored twin moving a set of Autobot sized crates across the room from one side to the other as Bumblebee played a video game with the other 2 children. 

“Hey mini-Prime!” he greeted. “What are you doing here?”

“Just got done with my shift at work.” Jack answered, hearing a series of booming thuds coming from somewhere down the hallway. “Mom’s away at a medical conference so…figured I’d spend some time here.”

“Fun.” The twin said, picking up another box. “Try not to trip over yourself.”

“Try not to drop that on your foot.” Jack shot back coolly and continued on to get Ratchet’s field damper, opening the door to the human sized storage room and looking through a myriad of junk that was piled inside nearly to the ceiling.

‘Why did Ratchet ever hide it in here?’ he wondered absently, grabbing it moments later when he found it buried under some stacks of paper. 

Before he could muse any further though, Arcee’s voice sounded from back in the main room.

“Jack?” she called. “Jack, where’d you go?”

“I’m in the closet!” he yelled back, leaning out the door to look up at his approaching guardian.

“I support you!” Sideswipe called cheekily from where he was moving another box and Jack resisted the urge to flip him off. 

Arcee ignored him altogether. 

“I have a mission with Bluestreak until late tonight.” She said apologetically. “You’re gonna have to find another ride home.”

“That’s okay, Arcee.” Jack reassured her. “I’ll get Ratchet to bridge me back or just take my bike. I left it here last time.”

Then he paused and gave her a serious look.

“Be careful out there.”

“It’s just a scouting run, Jack.” She replied, looking amused. “I **have** done this before.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t still worry about you.” He smiled. “That’s what partners are for.”

Her smiled widened briefly but then slipped from her face a little as she pointed at him again. 

“I don’t want you, Miko, or Raf to go anywhere without an escort though.” She said. “The Cons have been increasing their activity lately. We shouldn’t take any chances with Megatron.”

“Agreed.” He said. “The less action the better as far as I’m concerned.”

Arcee gave a silent nod of agreement and then jerked her head up as someone called her name from near the groundbridge.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said and he echoed her with a nod of his own, watching as she disappeared from sight and was gone.

Then, right as he was turning to close the closet door, a large pede crashed down right in front of him, close enough that he stumbled backwards in surprise and nearly dropped his cargo.

“Whoa!” he exclaimed. “Hey!”

From where he had stormed past, the golden form of Sunstreaker looked back at him defiantly.

“‘Hey’ yourself, fleshbag!” he hissed. “Get outta my slaggin’ way!”

Then he stomped over to the far wall and picked up a large buffing cloth, one that he immediately began to wipe at his armor with. Only then did Jack notice how badly scratched up and dented he was. 

“What happened to you?” he asked in mild shock and the mech shot him a withering glare. 

“None of your fragging business, squishy!”

Jack looked to Sideswipe in confusion, who leaned against the wall with a smirk on his faceplate. 

“Non-weapon combat training with Prowl.” He said. “Immensely entertaining.” 

“So what happened to him?” Jack asked, glancing at the golden twin. “You guys are fantastic fighters!”

“What happened is Prowl fragged him up.”

“I can see that.”

“Apparently, brother mine,” Sunstreaker snarled, glaring at his twin defiantly. “You weren’t paying attention because I was winning that match. Prowl fraggin’ cheated.”

“No, **apparently** someone needs to call Milton-Bradley, cause you’ve got no game.” Sideswipe shot back with a teasing smirk.

Jack couldn’t decide whether to laugh at that remark or marvel at how quickly the Autobots were adjusting to Earth in such a short amount of time. In the end he decided to shake his head and move to join Miko and Raf on the balcony level as Sunstreaker hurled one of Ratchet’s tools at his twin, managing to peg him in the side of the helm with it with a loud ‘CLANG’ as he did. 

“Sunstreaker!” the medic groused. “I **needed** that!”

“Maybe it’s just an off day for you.” Jack told the golden Autobot over his shoulder, trying to be pleasant as he walked. “Everybody has them.”

“Frag that! My finish is ruined!”

The teen sighed.

“I’m sure it’ll buff out.” He deadpanned and Sunstreaker fixed him with a look.

“Don’t you have traffic to go play in, brat?” he spat, wiping hard at a particularly nasty scratch.

Jack rolled his eyes and Jazz snorted from where he was sitting by the main monitors.

“Ya have such a ‘sunny’ personality, Streaker.” He teased lazily. “I can’t tell ya how much ah missed you’re happy, smilin’ face.”

The mech flat out growled at that and Jack snorted as he plopped down on the couch next to Miko, watching as she and Raf focused intently on the game they were playing. Instead of their usual racing fare, this one seemed to be virtual fighting simulator, and Jack watched with a smile as Raf calmly and methodically began wiping out Miko’s character in under 15 seconds, making the girl quite angry as she mashed buttons furiously. 

“So who’s winning?” Jack asked and Raf raised his hand a little with an almost embarrassed smile, Bumblebee running a large digit down the boy’s back affectionately as he did. 

“NO!!” Miko howled in frustration. “How many times do I have to **hit** you?!”

Jack snickered.

“An autobiography by Megatron.” He joked and saw Jazz chuckle under his breath from where he now stood by Optimus and Ratchet. 

Returning the Autobot spy’s amused grin, he watched as Miko threw down her controller with a cry of frustration and crossed her arms in a huff. 

“I never win at these stupid games.” She grumbled and Jack smiled at her. 

“I never do either.” He said. “Don’t worry. You’re not alone.”

“Yeah, but you suck at it!” she said as Optimus and Ratchet folded down into their alt modes and left the base, on their way to only they knew where. “I’m actually good, I just can’t ever beat **him**!”

She pointed at Raf when she said it and the hacker exchanged a fist bump with Bumblebee behind her back. Jack ignored the insult and looked around the hangar. 

“Where’s Bulkhead?” he asked and Miko jerked her head at the hallway he had just come down. 

“Training with commander boredom.” She said. “And I can’t do **anything** out here ‘til he emerges victorious.”

Jack decided not to point out that if the twins couldn’t beat Prowl then Bulkhead probably couldn’t either and instead folded his hands behind his head, leaning back to relax as he did.

“What are you gonna do when he does?” he questioned. “Monster truck rally again?”

Miko’s face seemed to light up like the sun. 

“Nope!” she said. “Check **this** out!”

Leaning down, she reached under the couch and emerged with something big in her hands, something that Jack quickly saw was some kind of rifle. 

“Whoa!” he said nervously, looking around to see if Ratchet or Optimus had come back yet. “Miko, what in the world is **that**?!”

She rolled her eyes.

“Relax, Jacko.” She said. “It’s not real. It’s a paintball gun. Wheeljack made it for me.”

“…Wheeljack made you a paintball gun.” Jack repeated skeptically.

To his surprise, Raf was the one that answered.

“Yeah,” the youngest teen said. “Apparently he was some kind of an inventor back on Cybertron. Said he wanted to tinker again when he was here earlier.”

“Wheeljack the inventor…nope not seeing it.” Jack replied and Bumblebee seemed to smile. 

The yellow Autobot scout then pointed at the gun and Miko and then mimed shooting it from his shoulder. It took Jack a second to figure out what he meant. 

“Oh, it’s for target practice?” he asked and Bumblebee pointed at him with a happy nod. “Huh. Can I see it?”

“Don’t break it.” Miko said warningly and Jack nodded with a smile as she handed it to him. 

Once it was in his hand, he marveled at it. It was much lighter than it looked and seemed very well made, with a clip that slipped into a slot at the bottom like a real rifle. At the top was a small blank screen of some kind and as Jack looked over it more and more, he was almost envious of the gift the Wrecker had given his comrade in arms. Paintball may not have been his thing, but he recognized quality when he saw it.

“Nice!” he said and Miko nearly preened at the praise. “You test it out yet?”

“Not yet.” She said. “Waiting on Bulk to get out and then it’ll be time!”

“What color paint?”

“Pink.”

When he raised a brow at her at that answer she jabbed a finger against his chest.

“Hey, I happen to like pink! Got a problem with that?”

“Hey, no argument here.” He said, holding his hands up in a mock surrender. 

Then he looked it over one more time. 

“What’s this screen at the top for?” he asked and Miko leaned closer, shrugging moments later. 

“Dunno.” She admitted. “Wheeljack had to leave pretty quick so he didn’t say. Turn it on and find out!”

Cocking his head a little curiously, Jack did just that, frowning when numerous red dots appeared in a grid on the screen, four of them clustered in a group in the center. 

“What’s that supposed to be?” he asked and Raf pushed his glasses up his nose as he leaned in. 

“It looks like a signal monitor.” He said.

“So it like detects people and bots who are nearby?” Miko clarified, sounding delighted. “Killer!”

“Hmm.” Jack nodded, impressed with Wheeljack’s engineering skill. “So this group in the center must be us and Bee. That’s Jazz.”

He gestured to a single dot off to the center group’s right. Then he pressed his finger to another group of two.

“And this one – ”

Suddenly, without warning, the paintball gun went off in his hands and rapid fired a series of small, pink projectiles at the wall before he could figure out what happened. Halfway to the wall, however, the fired paintballs veered sharply left and rocketed at the far wall the Twins were near. With no time to shout a warning, Jack and the others could only watch helplessly as Sunstreaker, who had just gotten his finish gleaming and spotless again, stood up with a self-important huff and got pelted one after another in the upper body and helm, the paint splattering all over him as he let out a yelp of surprise and tried vainly to shield his face, only succeeding in spattering his arms with paint as well. Then there was silence. For a moment, no one moved and Jack felt his stomach fall to his feet as Sunstreaker lowered his arms from his face and looked down at himself in horror, his face twisting with a myriad of different emotions as Sideswipe fell to the ground laughing hysterically, his servos clutching at his chassis as he did. Jack didn’t dare speak. Unfortunately, Miko had no such restraint.

“Ohhhhhh!” she said in understanding. “It’s a **homing** paintball gun! Rad! You touch the screen up here and it autofires and directs the paintballs towards whatever target you want! Nice shot, Jack!”

Jack could’ve throttled her. The moment he heard the boy’s name, Sunstreaker’s optics panned up to lock gazes with him and there was pure murder in his eyes. This would definitely not end well. 

“Uh oh…” he heard Jazz’s voice murmur from behind him, delighted humor only barely held back in it, and Sunstreaker shook some paint from his arms passive-aggressively. 

He now had as much pink on his battle-toned form as gold and looked vaguely like a failed tie-dye mural. 

“Squishy…” he said slowly, fury evident in his shaking tone. “This is the beginning of the end of your life.”

Jack dropped the gun with a loud ‘THUNK’ on the metal floor, holding up his arms in a placating gesture as he did.

“I am **so** sorry!” he pleaded. “I…I had **no** idea it would do that! It was a total accident!”

Sunstreaker’s swords slipped out of his armor as battle protocols engaged and Miko, Raf, and Bumblebee all backed up wisely as he began to approach with a deliberate pace. Behind him, Sideswipe crossed his arms across his chassis with a delighted grin and tilted his head slightly down the hallway, calling out as he did:

“Hey Prowlie, you might want to get your aft in here! There’s about to be a Sunstreaker showdown!”

It was at that moment that Sunstreaker lunged with his sword, bringing it down on the catwalk railing with a loud ‘CLANG’ as Jack jumped out of the way with a shout of panic and rolled to safety, picking up the first thing his hands could find to use as a defensive weapon. That thing happened to be Ratchet’s human-sized mop. Groaning at the unfairness of life, he grabbed the bottom of it and used the handle to parry Sunstreaker’s sword as he poked at him again, doing it a few more times as the enraged twin tried to move around objects in his way to get to his human target. From there, it turned into a mini-sword fight until finally Sunstreaker got past the panel that had been impeding him and slashed hard at Jack’s mop, slicing the handle in half with disturbing ease as the boy ducked. When he finally looked at the remains of his ‘weapon’, Jack could only nod.

“Right.” He snarked. “What was I thinking?”

Over to his right, their excited onlookers seemed to think that he had lingered too long. 

“Dude, what are you doing?!” Miko yelled. “Move it!”

 _“Run, Forrest!”_ Bumblebee agreed through his radio. “ _Run!”_

Jack decided to take their advice. Grabbing the paintball gun, he turned and vaulted down the stairs right as Sunstreaker’s fist came crashing down right where he had been standing moments before. Not looking back, he grabbed his bike from where it rested in a corner and hopped on, booking it as soon as he had and heading for the exit. 

“Jazz!” he yelled. “I need a brid – ”

That’s as far as he got. Before he could finish the sentence, he was grabbed off his two-wheeler and pinned to the ground onto his back in what he guessed was the Autobot version of a tackle. Then there was the point of a sword pressed against his throat, lifting his chin up to meet a pair of furious optics. He countered by leveling the paintball gun at his attacker’s faceplate. Sunstreaker wasn’t impressed.

“Yield.” He threatened. “And thank your youth and squishiness for the gift of keeping your life. You **will** scrub my armor spotless if it takes you a month.”

“Really?” Jack replied, feeling a tad annoyed as he found that his legs were pinned. “Cause this looks kinda like a standoff to me.”

“You can’t do anything to me.”

“I’ll splash your armor again.” He retorted. “And this time I’ll mean it.”

“You wouldn’t live to see tomorrow.”

“You’d have to explain my death to Optimus.”

“I’ll take the brig time. No one would miss you. Least of all me.”

“…well aren’t you just the metaphorical dump on my bed?”

Jack saw a grin spread over Sunstreaker’s faceplate despite his obvious attempt to restrain it and countered it with one of his own, neither of them backing down an inch. This simply confirmed his suspicion that the mech’s words, though harsh, were just posturing, and that if he’d wanted to do real harm he’d have done it long ago. Still, the original anger was certainly real, and that’s what kept his sword in place. 

“I’ll run you through.” The mech said.

“I’ll paint you pink.” Jack countered. “Well…more pink.”

Secretly, as he said it, Jack was wondering what was taking the other bots so long to call the golden twin off, as their little back-and-forth had certainly been going on long enough. His hope for that went out the window though as soon as he saw Jazz standing by Sideswipe in his peripheral vision, both grinning and unconcerned, watching the spectacle like it was funny. He would swear later that he saw money of some kind exchange hands as they bet on the outcome of the duel he’d somehow found himself in. Suddenly, faster than he’d ever seen a bot move, Sunstreaker grabbed the gun out of his hands and threw it over his shoulder. Then he brought his fist down on Jack’s bike and reduced it to a crumpled wreck before putting the point of his sword back where it had started at the boy’s throat. 

“Not anymore you won’t.” he said smugly.

Jack simply gaped at the remains of his bike, which he suspected had been destroyed out of nothing but sheer spite. 

“I needed that!” he howled.

“I don’t car – Ah, what the slag?!”

Suddenly, the sword was gone and Sunstreaker’s formidable form lifted off him as quickly as it had descended, leaving Jack to prop himself up on his elbows and see what happened. He blinked in surprise. Prowl had finally entered the fray and grabbed golden twin by the back of the neck in a vice grip, lifting him up to a standing position and spinning him to face him. 

“Prow – Oof!” Jack started and then grunted as the 2nd in command’s other hand grabbed him as well, taking just enough care not to hurt him but not enough to still be rough.

Then he raised him up to his eye level and regarded them both with a calm, angry demeanor that screamed ‘disappointed leader’. 

“What in the name of Primus is going on?” he demanded, looking from one to the other.

“He ruined my paint!” Sunstreaker protested, sounding more like a petulant child then one of the Autobots’ deadliest warriors. 

“And you?”

“It went off by accident!” Jack said, feeling like he was being scolded by his mother. “I was just looking at it and it fired! I didn’t mean to shoot him!”

“So you decided to setting this quarrel like younglings instead of live up to Optimus’s expectations of you both?” Prowl summed up, his voice still the same carefully neutral tone it had been all along. “Is that right?”

 _Ouch._ Jack felt himself droop a little at that. It had been an accident that turned fun and aside from Sunstreaker destroying his bike he didn’t really feel like they’d done anything truly wrong. This was training Smokescreen all over again. Prowl nodded, seeming to make up his mind.

“You,” he said to Sunstreaker. “Will replace his bicycle with an even better one. You.”

This one was directed at Jack as the golden twin tried to protest.

“Will clean his armor and put away that gun in storage.”

Then Prowl released them both, placing him back on the ground gently as his grip loosened on Sunstreaker and the golden twin shrugged him the rest of the way off. Jack sighed. The punishment seemed only fair given what had happened, but he felt bad for getting Miko’s new toy sent to lockdown. She had been looking forward to using it with Bulkhead. He’d definitely have to make it up to her eventually. 

“BUT – ”

Jack froze again as Prowl spoke once more, both he and Sunstreaker having moved to walk away back to their respective corners. A sensation of ‘Uh oh. Here it comes.’ swept through him in a rush, and once again his instincts proved prophetic. 

“Since you both seem to want to spend time together badly enough to engage in an unsanctioned duel,” Prowl finished almost sweetly, a truly unnerving smile spreading over his normally stoic face. “You will be accompanying one another on patrol duty, before anything else, looking exactly as you do right now. You will make sure to go through Jasper on your route and you will return in the same state you left in. I’m sure you will both make Team Prime proud with your behavior from here on out. You may go.”

With that, the Autobot SIC stepped back and watched expectantly, his optics darting back and forth between the two of them as he waited to see who would obey orders first. Jack gaped at him, a thousand words of protest coming to his mind but all of them warring with his sense of responsibility and deciding not to make themselves heard. Sunstreaker, conversely, looked horrified, and seemed to be staring at his commanding officer as though the latter had committed some heinous, unspeakable crime. He seemed to stumble over his words.

“B-But…you can’t…my **paint**!” he said.

“Will delight every human youngling you pass on the street I’m sure.” Prowl said smoothly. “They get to marvel at your colorfulness and you get to feed your vanity. Dismissed.”

Then he turned and walked away back down the hall towards the sparring area, disappearing moments later around the corner. No one moved. Jack could see Miko up top on the catwalk with Raf, her hands covering her mouth as if she’d been trying to force herself not to speak and get punished too. Raf just looked sympathetic, and Bumblebee, who was standing behind them still, seemed to be trying to decide whether to laugh or pity his friends for the predicament they’d found themselves in. Sideswipe, meanwhile, had no such compunction and was half bent over the boxes he’d moved, laughing so hard he nearly couldn’t stand. Over by the groundbridge, Jazz had just gotten himself back under control, a wide grin still plastered on his face as he walked over and crouched down beside Jack, resting a digit on the young human’s shoulder.

“And that, mah man,” he smiled. “Is why you never wanna provoke the Prowler.” 

He chuckled again, his head tilting up to glance once more at Sunstreaker’s expression.

“I’ll cover for ya with ya mom and Optimus.’’ He assured. “They’ll never know ‘bout it. Don’ worry.”

Jack could’ve kissed him. 

“Thanks.” He sighed. “I’ll just...”

He glanced up at Sunstreaker and saw Death staring back at him.

“…go get ready.”

With that, he turned and walked back up the catwalk stairs, grabbing his helmet and putting it by the TV, where he knew he would find it later. Then he turned to Miko and she gave a guilty smile. 

“Uh…” she said. “Sorry?”

“Mmhmm.” Jack nodded in a deadpan voice. “Tell Wheeljack thanks for nothing.”

From there, he walked back down to ground level, watching as Sunstreaker folded down into his now pink-paint splattered alt form, and opened a door for him, honking the horn impatiently. 

“Let’s move, squishy!” he barked. “It’s your fault I have to be seen in public like this so let’s just get this over with!”

Jack didn’t deem that worthy of an answer so he silently sat down in the driver’s seat, pretending not to notice when the door slammed shut harder than was necessary and the seatbelt fastened around him passive-aggressively. Then, music started suddenly playing behind them. 

**_‘You’re so vain._ ** _  
_**_You probably think this song is about you.  
_** ** _You’re so vaaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnn.’_**

Jack only just managed to throw the offending Bumblebee a dirty look before Sunstreaker floored it out the base exit in a huff and the scout’s cheeky smirk was left behind inside with the others. After that the teen looked out the window silently, waiting until his companion had calmed down to initiate any conversation. It was while sorting through his thoughts like this that Jack discovered, to his surprise, that he was no longer mad. 

‘As surrogate families go,’ he mused. ‘This is about as good as it gets I guess. Even with all their little quirks. Who needs normal anyway? This is so much better.’

Then Sunstreaker switched on his radio, clearly intending to break the awkward silence without talking to his passenger, and Jack was treated to yet another song. 

**_‘_** **_The perfect body, the perfect face_  
It's like God's best work all in one place  
But the haters hate perfection, can't you see?  
It's a burden being wonderful like me.’**

Jack put his head in his hands. Well…mostly better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was chapter 2 of 3 that I wrote. I'm not sure if I'm going to keep going past there so I'll leave the final chapter count on '?' for now, but here's this one anyway. :)
> 
> Lyrics from "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon & "The Burden of Being Wonderful" by Steel Panther


	3. Runaway Autobot

“Welcome to K.O. Drive-in, can I take your order?”

“Yeah, I’ll have the number 4 combo with a side of fries. Oh, and hold the mayo.”

“That’ll be $8.25, sir. Have a nice day.”

Jack looked out the drive thru window absentmindedly as he handed off another bag. Another dreary Thursday was winding down and the skies above Jasper had been dark and threatening to storm all day, something that hadn’t done much for his mood. Lately it had been school-work-sleep, school-work-sleep, school-work-sleep, rinse and repeat. The bots had been quiet and a bit secretive for the better part of a month and Jack was beginning to wonder what was going on. He hadn’t even seen or talked to them in around 5 days and though he wasn’t as incessantly and demandingly curious about why as Miko was, part of him still felt a bit left out. Still, at least he had other things to worry about. 

The junior prom was coming up at school and though dances weren’t exactly his thing, he was still expected to go. His mom was certainly pushing the matter and Miko had done her own share of finagling, trying to convince him to go just so she could get in a year before she was technically allowed. It had taken awhile, but he had given in finally and agreed to go…on the self-appointed condition that it was with someone in particular. Jack had been trying to work up the courage to ask Sierra to go with him since the previous afternoon and was running out of excuses to avoid her and put it off any longer. After all, the dance was tonight. 

Interrupting his daydreaming, another car pulled up to the drive-in menu and he let out a sigh. He had just activated the microphone when –

“Hey Jack!”

Whirling in surprise, he saw a tall, red-haired girl grinning at him from the sidewalk opposite the drive-thru road and nearly dropped the bag he was holding. 

“Sierra?!” he blurted in surprise and she giggled.

“Sorry, you look a little busy.”

“N-No!” he lied. “I’m just, you know…doin’ what I do. How are you?”

“I’m good,” she smiled them said almost shyly. “I’m still looking for someone to go to the dance with tonight though. You…know anyone available?”

He was caught totally off guard. 

“Uhhhhhh…” he droned intelligently. “I…uh…”

Her smile fell a bit. 

“I mean, Vince asked me but…” she said. “I was kinda…”

He nodded stupidly, still not knowing what to say. 

Then she gestured over her shoulder at the road. 

“I’m sorry, Jack.” She said. “I didn’t realize you were so busy. I can talk to you on Monday.”

Then she turned to leave and he mentally kicked himself.

_‘Say something you idiot!’_ he screamed mentally.

“S-Sierra, wait!” he called at the last minute and she turned almost excitedly. 

“Do…Doyouwannagotothepromwithme?” he blurted all at once and she blinked at him.

“I’m…sorry?”

He took a deep breath.

“Do you want to go to the prom with me tonight?” he asked again. “I…I still need a date too.”

“That’d be great!” she exclaimed. “Oh Jack, thank you! The last thing I wanted was to do was say yes to Vince.”

“Great!” he grinned ecstatically. How ‘bout I – ”

“Well look at the studly squishy!” came a sudden smug voice over his headset, startling him out of his reverie. “Way to go! Though if you’re going to go around interfacing, you might wanna keep it on the downlow from Arcee.”

Jack clenched his jaw with a grimace, forcing a smile at Sierra. So much for his perfect moment.

“Can you just…give me a second?” he asked and she nodded with a curious smile.

Jack turned back to the microphone.

“Can I help you, Sideswipe?” he deadpanned.

“Yeah,” came the mirth filled answer. “I’ll have an ‘I need to lighten up a little’ combo with a side of ‘Primus, I’m boring’.”

“Hmm.” Jack forced another annoyed smile. “So that’s one ‘I’m the most annoying friend to ever walk God’s earth’ combo with a side of ‘go to hell’. Coming right up, sir.”

Then he turned back to Sierra as laughter sounded in his earpiece. 

“Friend of yours?” she asked with an amused smirk.

“Mmhmm.” He replied dismissively, then lit up with a hopeful look. “So I’ll… meet you around 8?”

She nodded with wide smile.

“Sounds good.” She said. “I-I’m glad you’re the one who asked me, Jack.”

“I’ll see you then, Sierra!”

“See you then, Jack.”

Then she hoisted her bag over her shoulder and walked away down the sidewalk, disappearing from view as Jack pumped his fist with a ‘Yes!’ and Sideswipe pulled up alongside the window. 

“You done yet?” he asked. “Just cause I’m covering for Arcee doesn’t mean I wanna sit around this boring-aft place all day. Too many Cons to slag.”

Jack raised an eyebrow.

“I haven’t even heard from you guys in like a week.” He said. “What’s going on?”

“We’re heading back to base. C’mon!”

“Why?”

“Just following orders, kid. Prime says jump, you say ‘how high’. Now, you coming or what?”

“Yeah,” Jack replied. “Yeah, I’ll be right out. Meet me out front.”

By the time he had and they were on their way, the rain had finally let loose, its torrents completely obscuring Jack’s view as he studied the landscape and let Sideswipe drive himself. After all, as he’d been reminded on a more than a few occasions, “Nobody controls me but me. Too much gorgeous mech for you squishies to potentially ruin”. That was a bit more verbose than Sunstreaker’s blunt declaration of “Don’t touch me”, but it got the message across. Jack shook his head and cleared his thoughts, turning back to where his chauffer was quickly approaching the hidden Autobot base. 

“So what was with the hiatus?” Jack asked. “I mean, I know you guys are at war but still...”

“We had some…problems to deal with.” Sideswipe said cryptically and Jack raised both his brows.

“Megatron?” he prodded and the Autobot seemed to shift in a nonchalant shrug.

“More like…‘prissy-bot’ problems.” He replied and Jack made a face.

“What does **that** mean?”

“You’ll find out.”

Jack threw up his hands in defeat and looked back out the window. He supposed he **would** find out soon. After all, he could see the sloping desert bluff that hid the Autobot base within approaching fast and decided to wait and get a firsthand answer from Optimus himself. Or Arcee. If they were getting called in after almost a week’s silence then there had to be at least someone present to talk to. Sure enough, the door slid upward and open as they got within range and by the time Jack saw the familiar interior come into view, he realized that not only were there bots present, they had a packed house. 

Jazz and Ratchet stood over by the computer system with Optimus while Bumblebee, Bluestreak and Smokescreen chatted up Raf about something by the television set. Wheeljack, meanwhile was showing Bulkhead and Miko something in his servo as Sunstreaker looked on dismissively. Finally, over by the groundbridge, Arcee was talking to Prowl and Silverbolt, the conversation looking official to say the least. As they came to a halt, Sideswipe popped his seatbelt and threw open his driver’s door, not saying another word to Jack as the teen stepped out and made immediately for Raf and his group. After ascending the ladder up to them, he sidled his way into their midst. 

“Hey guys.”

“Hey, Jack.” Came answers from Raf and Bluestreak as Bumblebee chirped and Smokescreen held out a metal fist to exchange a lopsided fist bump with the arriving human, an element of human culture that the warrior had recently discovered and was determined to use as much as possible. 

It amused Jack to no end, particularly when he’d tried it on Optimus.

“So what’d I miss?” he asked, glancing around at them. 

“One of my friends is being stubborn about humans and Earth and I don’t know why cause this planet is so fascinating but I guess it makes sense given where he came from and what class he is but he really should just give everything a chance and then – ” Bluestreak said in one long, continuous stream and Smokescreen took over as Bumblebee put a servo on the gunner’s shoulder to stop his chatter.

“We had a new arrival while you guys were gone.” He explained. “He’s been having some trouble adapting.”

“Really?” Jack said in surprise, then turned to Raf. “Did you or Miko meet him yet?”

The diminutive hacker shook his head.

“We just got here 20 minutes before you did.” He explained. “Optimus wants to talk to us about it I guess.”

“Huh.” Jack nodded.

This would certainly be interesting. Then he felt a metal digit brush his shoulder in greeting. 

“Hey partner.” Arcee greeted as he turned and saw her. “Sideswipe behave himself on the way over?”

“As much as he’s capable of, yeah.”

“That would certainly be worth an entry in the historical records.” Silverbolt said with a wry smile. “The Twins behaving themselves.”

That got a round of chuckling from the group and Jack nodded in greeting at the flier.

“Hey Silver.” He greeted. “You get called in from exile too?”

The flier’s smile widened a little, his helm turning to nod in greeting at Raf as well. It wasn’t often he was seen around base either these days, his Decepticon scouting missions sometimes taking days at a time.

“So it seems.” He replied, then panned his gaze up behind Jack. “And I guess we’re about to find out why.”

Sharing a glance with Raf, Jack turned and saw Optimus walking up to the center of the room, Prowl right with him as Ratchet and Jazz stayed back by the computer system. 

“To those of you just arriving, allow me to explain what’s going on.” The Autobot leader said in his deep baritone. “And how I believe you can help.”

Looking around at them all, his gaze lingered on the three humans. 

“I apologize for our secrecy recently,” he continued. “But we’ve had a new Autobot arrival, and his background necessitated that we ease him into life here in a more gradual manner than usual.”

Jack frowned. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but fortunately there was always Miko to blurt out what most people knew not to ask aloud.

“What does **that** mean?” the girl asked from Bulkhead’s shoulder. “What is he, ‘Earth-phobic’ or something?”

Optimus merely listened and continued when she stopped talking.

“His designation is Mirage.” He said. “And he’s one of our best spies. He was also from a different class of mech than we all were and as a result, acclimating him to Earth took a bit more effort than it did with the rest of us.”

“What class is he?” Raf asked. “If he’s a spy then that would make him a scout or saboteur right?”

“Not that kind of class.” Arcee explained. “Back on Cybertron before the war we had a sort of caste system. The working class mechs were at the bottom and lived in what you might call the slums. The middle class mainly were in Academic or military institutions – ”

“Like the Elite guard I was part of at the academy.” Smokescreen cut in. “Or the Science institute nearby.”

“ – and lived in better areas of the cities.” Arcee kept going when he was done, not bothering to shoot him a dirty look for interrupting her. “At the top though, was the noble class. They lived in the best areas and made a lot of the laws.”

“Unfortunately the caste system was one of the main causes of the war.” Prowl said. “Mechs like Megatron and Soundwave were lower class gladiators who rebelled and gathered an army behind them. When the war started, most mechs went with either side.”

“Mirage was one of the few Nobles who joined our side.” Optimus explained and Jack listened intently, finding the whole thing endlessly fascinating. “But as a result of his upbringing and the way things worked where we are from, he has a harder time connecting to others than most Autobots you’ll meet.”

“Translation,” Sunstreaker sniped from across the room. “He has a massive superiority complex and he’s an aft.”

“Cause that description doesn’t fit anyone else.” Arcee muttered beside Jack as Optimus gave the golden twin a silencing look.

“Unfortunately, our progress has not been overly successful thus far and he is now over a day late reporting in from one of his outings.” The Autobot leader said. “And that’s why you are all here.”

Jack frowned again, exchanging another glance with Raf.

“We’ll do anything we can to help, Optimus.” He said. “But I’m not sure what – ”

“There has been a lull in Decepticon activity lately and because of that, I am sending everyone out to look for Mirage and bring him back in.” Optimus interrupted him. “I would like the three of you to accompany three different members of the search team. When we find Mirage, I would like you to be the ones to help begin to change his mind on humanity.”

“Agent Fowler not working out too well there for ya?” Miko smirked and Optimus had a poker face.

“Agent Fowler is highly trained at many things.” He said. “Diplomacy with Cybertronian nobles is simply not one of them.”

Translation: yes. Jack nodded as he thought it over. They should be done in time for the prom right? 

“Count me in.” he said and Miko and Raf both echoed him excitedly.

“Bulk, Wheeljack and I can look – ” Miko started and Optimus held up a servo to silence her almost instantly.

“In addition,” he said. “I would like to sow the seeds of better teamwork in the field by pairing you with mechs that are not usually your partners. That way everyone involved can benefit from this exercise as we search.”

“Aww!” Miko whined. “But why can’t we – ”

“Miko,” Prowl took over, “You will accompany Jazz in the field.”

That brightened her expression and the saboteur strode up to her side with a grin.

“I’ll choose the music.” He smirked and folded down into his alt mode, closing the door as she leapt in and then speeding out of the base opening as if he already had received his search area. 

Actually, Jack mused, he probably already had. They could communicate by interior comm after all. 

“Silverbolt,” Prowl continued. “You will search from the air. The original members of Team Prime will split up into twos and coordinate the search to the South. Sunstreaker, you will accompany Wheeljack to the East.”

Both Autobots looked less than thrilled at this and seemed to size each other up as they both folded into alt modes and left through the same door Jazz had. Jack was surprised. They weren’t sending Sunstreaker out with his brother? Oh no...

“Rafael.” Prowl said. “You will go with Bluestreak and look to the West. Optimus and I will join you and split off soon after to head Southwest instead.”

Oh god why…

“Jack.”

The teen looked up and saw that Prowl had approached him instead of talking from across the room.

“You and Sideswipe will head North and search there.”

Jack turned to meet Sideswipe’s gaze and the grin that spread over the frontliner’s face could only be described as a shark eying chum. He turned back to Prowl.

“Prowl,” he started. “I – ”

“Please keep him under control.” Came the mech’s reply and then he turned and walked away, meeting Optimus over by Ratchet and the groundbridge. 

Jack set his mouth in a firm line. His new partner had folded back into his alt mode and popped his gullwing door, inviting him in with a honk of his horn. He took a deep breath.

“Okay then.” He said and jogged down the stairs, jumping in Sideswipe’s passenger door as he did.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“I hope you put your affairs in order.” Came the bot’s voice through his radio, somehow sinister and mirth-filled at the same time.

Or maybe it would. 

The next thing Jack knew, they had left the base.  
  


* * *

  
For the first 30 minutes of so of their search, not much was said. Jack wracked his brain to think of places the rogue Autobot could be hiding up north of Jasper but was coming up empty. Sideswipe, for his part, had been scanning ever since they’d left, his radio playing some loud rock songs as he did. He had yet to say anything or veer off in any particular direction though so Jack assumed he was finding nothing as well. Finally, sick of not talking, he decided to initiate some conversation. 

“So how well do you know this ‘Mirage’?” he asked. “What’s he like?”

“Like I said.” Came the almost instantaneous answer. “Prissy-bot.”

“Come on,” Jack prodded. “He can’t be that bad if he’s one of the best spies you guys have, right?”

“Try living with him for a few eons and see if you still feel that way.”

“Fair enough.” Jack relented, then decided to focus on the mission again. “So how long do you it’ll take to find him?”

“Who knows?” the Autobot said loftily. “Could take days. Especially if he’s engaged his invisibility like he tends to.”

“Whoa, what?!” Jack barked in alarm. “ **Invisibility**?! He already could be anywhere and now he can turn **invisible**?!”

“Did Optimus forget to mention that?” Sideswipe asked in mock concern, sounding like he was enjoying himself very much. “Oof…not lookin’ good for that prom thing of yours.”

Jack buried his face in his hands.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He muttered in irritation.

“Speaking of which,” Sideswipe kept right on going. “You and your girlfriend need a ride to get there? Cause I’d be happy to offer my services as chauffer.”

“NO!” Jack blurted, then calmed himself a bit. “Th-That’s okay. We’ll…figure it out.”

This seemed to only further amuse the Autobot.

“Aww,” he fake whined. “You don’t trust me? Kid that…that hurts. That gets me right in the spark.” 

“I’m not letting you **anywhere** near Sierra.”

“I may cry myself into recharge. And why might that be?”

“Do you remember what happened when I introduced you to my mother finally after that police chase debacle?”

“I was on my best behavior.”

“You called me a ‘fleshy chicken fry with windswept hair’.”

“I was…being descriptive.”

“Yeah,” Jack huffed sarcastically. “I’ll bet you were.”

“Eh…your loss, kid.” Sideswipe finally said, still sounding amused. “I’m sure I’ll recover from the crushing disappointment. Besides, we can always get Ratchet to take you instead.”

The number of ways the night could turn catastrophically embarrassing jumped from 10,000 up to about 5 million with that thought. Jack rubbed at his face again.

“Maybe we’ll walk.” He sighed and Sideswipe chuckled.

Then, suddenly, a familiar voice filtered through the Autobot’s speakers. Jack recognized it instantly.

“This is Prowl checking in with all field units.” It said. “Have you encountered any readings? Jazz and Miko?”

Jack heard loud music replace Prowl’s voice.

“Nothin’, Prowler.” Came Jazz’s easy-going baritone. “Empty as the cosmos out here.”

“Bluestreak and Rafael?”

“Nothing yet, Prowl.” Bluestreak responded and Raf chimed in before the gunner could start talking more. “Just a couple broken down cars. That’s it.”

“Sideswipe?” Prowl was back.

“Nah.”

“Jack?”

“I haven’t seen anything since I entered Sideswipe at the base.”

Then he paused and made a face.

“Ooo, there’s gotta be a better way to say that.”

“Oh but maybe that’s the way I **want** it said, darling.” The frontliner mocked in a fake seductive voice and Jack wrinkled his nose further.

“Ha ha.” he deadpanned.

“If you two are quite finished.” Prowl sounded impatient and suddenly a screen popped up out of the dashboard with his image on it, an audio waveform fluctuating underneath it to indicate that he was the one speaking. 

Beside him were images of all the other Autobots, each with its own corresponding waveform. Beneath each one, however…

Jack burst out laughing. He couldn’t help it. He knew he should be taking the situation seriously but he was still only a teenager and **this** …

“What, praytell, is so amusing?” Prowl asked in a dangerous voice, the words ‘Ripcord Chucklebot’ gleaming underneath his picture from where they had just appeared.

“N-nothing!” Jack gasped, feeling Sideswipe shifting underneath him in his own silent laughter. “I uh… This kid from school I don’t like just got pulled over by the cops in front of us, that’s all. Sorry Prowl. We’ll keep looking.”

“Hmm.” Prowl rumbled, clearly not believing it for a second. “Keep searching. Prowl out.”

Then he was gone and they both laughed out loud again, barely even noticing as Jazz’s waveform moved instead.

“Why do ah get tha sense that was a complete lie, Sides?” he asked, his voice sounding amused as ‘Jazzmanian Devil’ appeared beneath his face.

“Never you mind.” Sideswipe replied smoothly. “We’re continuing our search.”

“Prowl’s gonna discipline you hard one of these days Sideswipe.” Bluestreak’s voice joined in, ‘Chatterbot’ appearing with it. “He only has so much patience and you don’t wanna get in trouble again I mean I know you get in trouble a lot but still – ”

“My threshold of caring is low right now, Blue.” Came the reply. “Sunny, what do you think?”

“Don’t talk to me.” Came the gruff reply, the words ‘Sunny McGrumpyface’ appearing for only a moment before disappearing again. “And **don’t** call me Sunny!”

Sideswipe said something back to his twin but Jack didn’t hear what it was, because at that moment they rounded a bend in the desert road and he caught a momentary glimpse of something metallic and gleaming hidden way back in one of the rocky crags and canyons that had begun to surround them. 

“Whoa!” he said, patting the steering wheel and putting away his humor. “Back up! Something’s back in that canyon.”

Sideswipe did as requested and came to a screeching halt, reversing back down the road until they were at the point where Jack could recreate the view he’d had before. Sure enough, the gleam returned, small and distant but still definitely there. 

“You see that?” he asked and Sideswipe turned slightly towards the canyon entrance.

“Yeah.” He said, his tone totally professional now, as if he could turn that part of him on and off with the flick of a switch. “But I’m not getting any readings.”

Then he popped Jack’s seatbelt and opened his door, transforming into bot mode as soon as the teen had stepped out. 

“Let’s check it out.” he said and started into the canyon, Jack tailing him in his wake and wondering if they’d discovered the break they needed to find the wayward Mirage.

As they got closer to the object, however, Jack’s excitement turned to confusion. He rested his hand on a nearby boulder, frowning as Sideswipe unsheathed one of his battle swords. 

“Is that a…turret?” he asked, eying the metallic object jutting seemingly randomly out of a pile of sand a bit warily. 

Sideswipe was silent, panning his optics back and forth across the canyon landscape as if he were scanning it. Then suddenly, he leapt into the air with astounding speed and landed behind the object with no more force than if Jack himself had fallen, plunging his sword point down into it in a shower of sparks as the object crumpled in on itself and was no more. Then he looked further down the canyon past it. 

“Not anymore.” He said smugly, creeping to the crest of the next bend and glancing around it as Jack jogged to keep up, sticking to the wall and out of sight as much as he could. 

When he finally got close enough to look around the corner, he froze dead in his tracks. In front of them, situated out of sight from the main road against a far canyon wall, was an old warehouse, its metallic walls and roof rusting from years of being exposed to the elements and bombarded with sand. Littered across the landscape in front of it though, were dozens of motionless bodies. Beside him, Sideswipe twirled a sword absentmindedly in one hand.

“Well slag me,” he swore. “Looks like we missed one Pit of a party.”

Jack, however, was too busy recognizing the uniforms all the downed humans were wearing. 

“Scrap.” He said. “MECH.”

“MECH?” Sideswipe echoed, scoffing seconds later. “What, those Con wannabe clowns that keep annoying everybody?”

“Don’t take them lightly.” Jack warned him. “They’re more dangerous than you think.”

The Autobot looked back around the corner at the scene.

“The fact that they all seem to have dropped faster than a Vehicon in a frontliner bar seems to disagree with you, kid.” He said.

Jack rolled his eyes.

“Yeah well, if you wanna charge right in, you be my guest.” He sniped. “When Ratchet’s putting you back together afterwards, I’ll come visit wearing my ‘I Told You So’ shirt.”

The Autobot smirked, then stiffened slightly again.

“Ooh.” He said. “Better put that on hold. Look who we got here.”

Following his gaze, Jack saw a familiar red Decepticon stride out of the interior of the structure, a scanning device of some kind whirring in his servo as he turned and seemed to talk to someone inside.

“Knockout.” He said unnecessarily, then frowned. “Great. Who’s he talking to?”

Sideswipe suddenly snorted with an exasperated grunt and gestured at the East side of the building. 

“Check out the far wall.” He said. “Just inside the door.”

Jack did just that and managed to see a second Cybertronian form sitting propped against it, this one motionless and unfamiliar to him. 

“Who’s that?”

“That would be our missing spy,” He replied with a judgmental snort. “In all of his glory, shitting the proverbial bed **again** as you humans say.”

Jack gave him a look.

“I’m sensing a history here.” He said and the frontliner just hummed at him in reply.

Then he looked back at the scene in front of them. 

“Sideswipe to Prowl.” He said and it took Jack a second to realize he was summoning backup. “We found his highness Mirage the 1st in a canyon north of the base. Cons on scene. Should I slag ‘em?”

There was silence for a moment and then Sideswipe spoke again, sounding somewhat more urgent.

“Sideswipe to Prowl!”

Jack didn’t even need to ask to know that nothing came of that one either. He pulled out his phone and speed dialed Arcee. 

“Pick up,” he muttered. “Pick up.”

All he got was static.

“Scrap. Are we - ”

“Being jammed?” Sideswipe replied. “You bet. Excuse me while I do something about it.”

Then he started forward and Jack grabbed at his ankle armor with his free hand.

“Wait!” Jack hissed, remembering vividly the incident with Smokescreen and Megatron. “We should take cover and wait for backup!”

Sideswipe glanced around their wall edge, seeming to study Knockout for only a split second before turning back to his human companion and smirking down at him. 

“Taking cover is for sissies.” He replied arrogantly. “I’ll just absorb the shots with my charisma.”

Then he turned away and was gone, moving quickly and quietly toward the base entrance as Jack ran a hand down his face in exasperation and followed close behind, hoping that Knockout was both alone and oblivious and wouldn’t see them. Fortunately, Sideswipe was as talented as he was conceited and Knockout only had time to turn and utter “What the – ” before he was leveled across the face with a vicious haymaker, dropping him like a heavy sack right into the arms of his attacker. This done, Sideswipe dragged him off to the side out of the way and then tossed his unconscious form into a sand mound, not taking any care in handling him as he did. Shaking his head with both awe and irritation, Jack ran past the motionless MECH soldiers and joined him by Mirage’s side. After scanning their downed ally with effortless precision, Sideswipe knocked on the unconscious Autobot’s helm with a metal knuckle, keeping his swords at the ready as he did so.

“Hey!” he barked quietly. “Wakey wakey, afthead. It’s time to head back to base.”

“Unhhhhhh…” the spy groaned, his optics flickering back to life dimly in the dark of the warehouse. “Wha – Sideswipe? How did…?”

“Cause I’m amazing. Now let’s go.”

“I’m…” Mirage said quietly, his voice sounding cultured, sophisticated and almost British next to Sideswipe’s brash jock tone. “I’m not here alone. Decepticons.”

“Yeah,” Jack reassured. “We know. We already got Knockout. We’re okay to go.”

Mirage looked down at him in surprise, clearly seeing him for the first time. Instead of relief at the news though, a look of borderline disgust seemed to spread over his face. 

“What is **that** doing here?” he demanded of his Autobot comrade and Jack straightened up in surprise.

Sideswipe spared the teen a glance and met the spy’s gaze challengingly.

“ **He** is part of the team.” He replied before adding. “Believe me, I was skeptical too. But he’s cool. Better than **you** actually. Now come **on**! Knockout’s slag and we’re clear. Let’s fraggin’ move.”

“What about Soundwave?” came the cold answer. “Did you get him too?”

That stopped both of them in their tracks. Jack looked up at him in dread.

“Soundwave’s here too?” he said in shock and Mirage regarded him with a dismissive snort.

“Is that **not** what I just said?” he demanded condescendingly and Jack gave Sideswipe an annoyed glance.

“Boy, you weren’t kidding.” He said and the frontliner smirked slightly despite himself. 

Then, however, his face changed into confusion and concern and he held up a hand to still Jack where he stood. 

“Next to your head on the right. What is that?” he asked. 

Jack swiveled his head like a turret and found himself face to face with a digital timer of some kind, one that currently sat at 5 minutes and was steadily counting down even as he looked at it. That didn’t really concern him. The fact that it seemed to be attached to a brick of C4, however, did. Backing up a step shakily, he looked further into the structure and saw at least 4 more of the blinking timers situated at seemingly random intervals, all of them no doubt attached to explosives like the one beside him. 

“Scrap.” He swore.

“That what I think it is?” Sideswipe asked and Jack nodded.

“Yeah.” He said. “Looks like the whole building’s full of them. Must be one of MECH’s security countermeasures.”

Then, adding to their bad luck, footsteps sounded from directly to their left and Soundwave himself strode back into the room, walking quietly over to a vacant computer console and hooking himself up to download from it…directly where they needed to go to escape. 

“Slag.” Sideswipe hissed, then turned to Mirage. “Tell me you can move on your own, prissy-bot.”

The spy seemed to suppress a rumbling growl. 

“Of course I can’t bloody move.” He spat back. “He fried my motor systems. At most I can limp on one leg. **And** my invisibility’s shorted out.”

“Of fragging **course** it is.” The frontliner replied and then spared Soundwave a glance before turning to Jack.

When he spoke, he seemed genuinely apologetic.

“Look kid,” he said. “We don’t have time for me to go beat Sounders into scrap and you sure as slag can’t carry this one.”

He gave a jerking nod in Mirage’s direction and Jack frowned, not liking where this was going.

“Can’t we just sneak past him?” he asked and got a shake of the head in response. 

“He’ll catch us.” Sideswipe said. “He’s too slagging good. And even I can’t take him on single handed while protecting you two in the process.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“You’re gonna have to distract him while I get this bozo to safety.”

Jack was sure he blanched at that.

“WHAT?!”

“Jack, I’m sorry, but we’ve got no choice.” Sideswipe said. “We got maybe 4 minutes before this place can be seen from space if you catch my drift.”

Mirage scoffed.

“You want to send **that** little meatbag against Soundwave?” he snorted. “He’ll be pulverized. You’re a bigger fool than I took you for.” 

Jack had had enough.

“You think I **want** to do this?” he demanded quietly. “What is your **problem** with me?!”

“Humans are all the same.” Came the answer. “All of you are. You care only about power and think you’re the only thing that matters in the universe!”

Jack blinked in surprise and then shook his head to clear the distraction. They didn’t have time for this. 

“You really need to update your databanks on humanity.” He said, trying not to sound rude. “Not all of us are like MECH. Some of us actually want to help.”

Then he glanced at Sideswipe again. 

“There’s no other way?”

“None that I see, kid.”

Rubbing at his face in fear and exasperation, Jack glanced out at his newly found Decepticon adversary and willed himself into action before he chickened out. His mom was gonna **kill** him. He met Sideswipe’s gaze one last time.

“If he kills me,” he said, gesturing out at the silent Con. “You stay away from my funeral.”

That got a grin to spread over the frontliner’s face and Jack stepped out from their cover, immediately noticing a breaker box over on the far wall as he did. 

‘That must feed power to the console Soundwave’s using.’ he thought, staring at it intently. ‘ **That’ll** certainly get his attention.’ 

Sneaking his way over quickly, he opened the panel and shut down the power to the whole building, an action that caused the console Soundwave was using to fade from a brilliant white into a dead, lifeless black. The Decepticon panned his faceless mask down to the machine’s control panel, seeming somewhat confused. 

“It’s not nice to spy on people, you know.” Jack called out, wondering where he was finding the courage to do this unprotected. 

Soundwave’s helm instantly turned in his direction, its terrifying gaze focusing right on him as the Decepticon’s body straightened up to its full height. Jack forced himself to stand his ground. He held out his arms to the sides in a questioning motion and walked away from where Sideswipe and Mirage were. 

“What are you doing here, Soundwave?” he asked, watching as the Decepticon’s head panned with his movement and followed him. “I can’t imagine Megatron would send you and Knockout here if it wasn’t important.”

Soundwave looked at the dark screen he’d been using and then back to Jack, an action the teen suspected was to question whether it was worth his time to deal with him. Jack gestured dismissively at the dark screen.

“Oh, were you using that?” he taunted, watching as Sideswipe and Mirage lurched quietly across the room in the background, moving more slowly than he would’ve liked. “Sorry. That was rude of me. How about we both just…uh…call it a day and go back to our separate corners, huh? I’ll get outta your way. No need for things to get messy, right?”

The Decepticon’s only response was to unsheathe his tentacles and charge up their blasters, all four of them pointing right in Jack’s face even as he watched. His courage went right out the window.

“Or...not.” He squeaked.

Soundwave opened fire. Letting out a yelp of fear, Jack turned and just barely dove out of the way, rolling behind a panel of some kind and managing to scramble up to his feet faster than he thought he’d be able to. It was **definitely** time to go. Planting one foot in front of the other, he started running as fast as his legs would carry him, seeing the doorway fast approaching and freedom tantalizingly within his reach. That, however, was the moment that one of Soundwave’s tentacles grabbed him by the ankle and tore him right off his feet, pulling him hard back into the structure and tossing him into the air like a toy. Then it slammed him into the wall and clamped around his throat as the other 3 tentacles hovered menacingly nearby. Jack tried not to blink as he met the Decepticon’s faceless gaze. He was going to key Sideswipe’s finish for this. From the afterlife if necessary.

“Come on, Soundwave,” he rasped, trying desperately to distract him further. “I thought we had an understanding!”

The silent Con stared at him for a long moment and Jack was certain that he was going to be ignored yet again. Then however…

“NO UNDERSTANDING.” A deep, mechanical drone that he had only heard once before thundered forth. “ATTEMPT AT DELAY: FUTILE. DEACTIVATION: IMMINENT.”

Then the tip of one of his tentacles began to spark with electricity and spin like a drill, it’s point moving closer and closer to Jack’s face with every passing second. His breath nearly caught in his throat. 

“Scrap.” He said.

Then, like an avenging angel…an obnoxious avenging angel... Sideswipe came flying in from the side and leveled Soundwave with one massive punch to the face, following it up by stomping the Decepticon the rest of the way to the ground and laying into him with his swords. The tentacle choking Jack’s neck loosened and dropped him to the ground, focusing instead on its new attacker, and Jack used the opportunity wisely.

Stumbling first and then sprinting outright, he ran out the opening to where Mirage waited by the canyon wall and continued on past him, not acknowledging the spy’s cultured bark of “Go! GO!” as he did. They were home free! That is, until a groundbridge portal opened up directly in front of him and he was beside Soundwave once more inside the building. Jack skidded to a grinding halt.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be **kidding** me!” he exclaimed, head whipping around to get his bearings.

The Decepticon immediately lunged for him and Jack jumped aside once more, panting in fatigue as he dodged around objects and headed back for the main doorway. As he passed one of the bombs on a nearby boiler, his heart leapt into his throat as 0:09 shone brightly in the dim light. Grabbing a stray piece of wood, he swung at a tentacle that tried to grab him again and found himself running once more past a bewildered looking Mirage, who stared at him as though he’d grown a second head.

“What in the name of –” he sputtered, clearly wondering how the human had gotten behind him again.

“Take 2!” Jack yelled, jerking his head sideways as the swiftly moving form of Sideswipe was suddenly next to him, transforming into his alt mode as Mirage somehow kept pace behind.

The moment the frontliner’s passenger door opened for him, he flung himself inside across the seats and held on tight as a huge ‘BOOM’ rocked the landscape behind them, causing both Autobots to fishtail slightly with its sheer force. Pulling himself up, Jack looked out the rear window in time to see the drone shaped form of Soundwave fly away from the fireball that had appeared in the sky. He heaved a shaky breath and slumped back in the seat as the adrenaline rush wore off. His ride, however...

“See?” Sideswipe said, and Jack just knew somehow that he was grinning out of sight. “What’d I tell you, kid? You’re a natural! Fun, right?”

“Fun?!” the teen howled, clutching at his bruised neck and hearing his heart still racing in his chest. “This is why we can’t have nice things, you smooth talking sociopath!”

Sideswipe let out a hearty laugh at that.

“Well gosh, Jack,” he drawled lazily, clearly enjoying the whole thing. “You sure know how to butter a mech up. Keep that talk up and we’ll be interfacing in no time.”

“Oh, shut up and get us back to base.” The human barked, holding up a hand in front of him to see if it was still shaking.

He was never going to get Soundwave’s voice out of his head for as long as he lived.  
  


* * *

  
Dying a slow death by debriefing had to be the worst way to go. This was something Jack had decided was true by the time Prowl had reached his 3rd round of questions, this time with all the others present. He and his two teammates had agreed to downplay his role in the rescue when delivering reports, but Prowl seemed to have a sixth sense for lies and kept shooting Jack an uncomfortably knowing look, one that he hoped was not too telling in the presence of both Arcee and his mom.

“And both Knockout and Soundwave were on the premises.” Prowl repeated.

“Yes sir.” Sideswipe replied. “Slagged ‘em both, saved the Prissy-bot, and everyone went home happy.”

“Do NOT call me that.” Mirage demanded haughtily, then turned to their commander. “I apologize for my selfishness and role in this incident. It shan’t happen again, I assure you.”

“What changed your mind?” Ratchet asked.

“I…” the spy hesitated. “Might have had a preconception proven wrong…at least in this incident.”

Prowl’s gaze turned to Jack.

“Do tell.” He said and the teen met his gaze with a gulp. “And your role in this was minimal and supporting, correct Mr. Darby?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then how did you get that bruise on your neck?”

Jack saw his mother cross her arms in his peripheral vision and didn’t dare look her way.

“The seatbelt.” He lied smoothly, feeling bad for doing it at all. “Sideswipe stopped kinda short when we first saw them.”

“And that was sufficient to bruise you on BOTH sides of your throat?” Prowl said calmly.

Jack met his expressionless, knowing gaze. Good god, it was like staring down a shark.

“Uh…it happened twice?”

Prowl was silent for a long moment, then simply nodded and addressed them as a group.

“Very well.” He said. “Thank you for your reports. You may leave.”

Jack gave a surprised start at that, turning slowly to walk to where Miko, Raf and his mother stood as the other two Autobots saluted their commander. How had they gotten away with **that**? He barely got 5 steps before Prowl stopped him with a digit, crouching down as he did.

“You’re a remarkable human, Jack,” he murmured, his tone intended only for the two of them, “And you’re far braver than any your age should be. But the next time you decide to engage Soundwave one on one…do yourself a favor and **don’t**.”

Then he rose once more and walked away, leaving Jack wincing in his wake.

‘Of course he knew.’ The teen thought as Ratchet chided Sunstreaker and Wheeljack for the dents they’d given each other on their outing. ‘I’m just lucky he didn’t tell my mom.’

Then, right as he was about to rejoin the others, he saw Mirage gesture to him from a hallway, his sleek form seeming to fade into the shadows as Optimus debriefed the others. Frowning in curiosity, he joined the spy quietly, exchanging a smiling nod with Arcee as Miko regaled the bemused group across the room with stories of her outing with Jazz. Turning away from the scene, he looked up at Mirage, who seemed to study him almost curiously.

“Why did you do it?” he finally asked.

“Huh?”

“Why did you agree to face Soundwave alone?” came the clarification. “To aid me. Surely you must have realized that he would annihilate you.”

“The thought had crossed my mind, yes.” Jack agreed.

“Then **why**?”

“Because that’s what teammates do.” The teen smiled. “That’s what friends do.”

“But you’re human!” Mirage sounded genuinely confused. “And we only met today!”

Jack put a hand on his ankle plating.

“But that’s not all I am.” He said, smiling slightly. “Believe me, there are bad people on this world, just like on yours, but there are good ones too…and we’re more resilient than you’d think.”

Mirage looked contemplative.

“Even against Soundwave?” he said.

“Even against **Megatron**.” Jack replied. “Look, I’m not fearless. I tried to walk away twice and these guys convinced me to come back.”

He nodded over at the conversing group.

“I ended up on the Decepticon warship twice, hunted by a torturer, and threatened by Megatron himself right to my face…but I honestly wouldn’t change any of it.”

“Why?”

“Because these guys are worth it.” Jack smiled. “And we can do some good here, even as a human…or a noble.”

A smile finally spread over Mirage’s face at that, the first Jack had seen from him, and the spy gave a small, respectful bow before going and joining the others, seeming to finally have the will to do so. As Jack himself turned to walk over too, he caught Optimus’s gaze and returned the smile the Autobot leader shot him, one that he swore looked almost proud. Then, however, he remembered where he had to be.

“Scrap!” he exclaimed, looking at the time. “I need to – ”

“Get to your prom?” came a voice.

Looking up, Jack saw Sideswipe saunter up to him, his powerful arms crossed across his chest and a strangely normal smile on his face.

“It’s okay, Sides.” He said, wanting to avert a potential disastrous outcome with Sierra. “Really. I can take Arcee.”

The frontliner gave a skeptical frown.

“If I’m not mistaken,” he said. “Humans arrive in **cars** to these things right? **Nice** cars.”

“How did you – ?”

Sideswipe shrugged good naturedly.

“Internet.” He said. “Now how ‘bout it? You know she’ll like a Lambo.”

Jack gave him a once over and sighed.

“No tricks?”

“No tricks.” Came the sincere sounding reply. “That was pretty cool what you did back there, with Soundwave and Mirage. I think you’ve earned a reprieve.”

Then he folded down into his alt mode and opened the passenger door invitingly and Jack gave a relieved and grateful smile before climbing in. Then they were off, a few waves of encouragement following in Jack’s wake from both Miko and his Mom. As soon as they were underway, Jack changed into decent clothes and readied himself for a great night of unwinding, one he really needed after the long day he’d had.

“I have to admit,” Sideswipe spoke up as they headed for the school. “I’m impressed you had the bearings to actually taunt Soundwave to his ugly face. Didn’t think you had it in you, Jack.”

“Eh,” Jack shrugged, smelling something strange as he breathed in but electing to say nothing to the Autobot. “You learn a thing or two hanging around with you guys. Between you, your brother, Wheeljack and Smokescreen I’ve got some pretty good teachers.”

“Heh.” Sideswipe chuckled. “We try. We ride rough but we take care of our own. Try not to get too cocky though, kid. You’re not cut out to rumble with the big bots full time.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Jack said. “I’ll leave that to you guys. Don’t tell Miko though, she’ll charge right in with you…with a stick if necessary.”

“You keep makin’ big time enemies, your little aft’s the one they’re gonna come find, not her’s. Careful.”

“Thanks, cause I’m not nervous enough about tonight.”

“Ah, you got this!” Sideswipe sounded cheerful. “And we got your back.”

Then they arrived at the school and Jack tried to straighten his shirt, nearly having a heart attack as Sideswipe’s hologram driver activated beside him. Sierra stood ready on the sidewalk, looking expectant and smiling widely as she saw Jack pull up in Sideswipe, the Lamborghini engine revving a few times as the Autobot enjoyed the envious stares he was getting from everyone.

“We have arrived, my squishy friend!” he exclaimed cheerfully. “Take a deep breath and greet your partner!”

Jack grinned. He really owed Sideswipe after this. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy after all. Taking the recommended deep breath as his ride came to a stop, he opened the door and emerged to greet his gorgeous date, ignoring the strange dizzy feeling he felt right before he stood. All in all, it was the coolest entrance a kid like him could have ever made. He had never felt so suave in his life.

At least until he opened his mouth to talk. 

Where once a mature, calm voice had been, Alvin the chipmunk now squeaked in its stead, the surprised look on Sierra’s face remaining even as she burst out laughing.

“J-Jack!” she laughed hysterically. “Wh-What is th- **that**?!”

“Wh-What the scrap?!” Jack squeaked, hands shooting to his throat in horror. “Why does my voice…my…”

Dawning realization crept over him in infuriating waves, even as Sideswipe quaked with mirth beside him.

“You!” he yelled, the voice sounding about as threatening as a hamster with arthritis. “Helium?! Really?!”

“I’m sure I d-don’t know what you’re talking ab-bout.” Sideswipe replied, struggling to get the words out around his laughter.

Jack aimed a furious kick at the Autobot’s rear bumper and he peeled out with a squeal of tires, laughing uproariously and giving a teasing beep of his horn as Jack went back to Sierra.

“You okay?” she asked, still struggling not to laugh as Jack flushed red with embarrassment.

“You ever had that one friend you wanted to simultaneously hug and murder?” he replied, his voice slowly returning to normal.

She laughed again, taking his arm as they turned and headed for the entrance, the music inside already playing as they approached. Jack allowed himself a smile. It was going to be a good night indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last chapter I wrote for this so I'm not sure if it'll go past here or not. Maybe I'll have inspiration and do another at some point but for now, this is probably it. 
> 
> I wanted to go for equal parts comedy and action/adventure here so hopefully I pulled it off. Also, the depictions of Cybertronian society and the newly introduced character here are taken mainly from other stories I've read that had similar ways of showing them, so if they're OOC, that's why. Thanks for the reviews and kudos! I appreciate it!


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